Mid-night Surprise

The laundry room in the new apartment I just moved in is so busy. Oh, well. It’s weekend- gotta be the laundry day^^. I’m too lazy to walk to the other laundry room to test my luck. I have plenty of time anyway. This is my last chance to enjoy the lazy weekend afternoon before school starts. Talking about school, I can make a preview of my future posts now ‘cos I know it’ll be full of complains about how crazy and inhuman my studio and other major related classes become. Maybe I should change my blog name into something like “another diatribe spot”, haha….

Early this morning, around 2 am, I got an ‘unknown’ phone call when I was preparing to go to bed. “ohhh.. it must be Mom. She always calculate the time difference wrong.” I picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hello? CiCi? Where’s my see-see?”
“… … Hey! Aahhhaa! DWTX! Woo… I’m so surprised that you call me!”
It was lucky that I didn’t say “Wei, mama?” in the beginning. But that’s not important. The point is that I was so HAPPY to hear my close someone’s voice even though we could only talk for 4 minutes. You know, it feels really good if you know someone’s missing you. You would feel that you really exist and your life is meaningful not just to you, but also to the one that’s thinking of you. Thousands of miles away, in the far east where I just came from several days ago, my close someone is there thinking of me who is right here in his origin. God really create wonderful things. After a ‘summer break’ of two and a half months, it’s time for us to get back together and start another year of adventures.

Another funny story I encountered last night:
A high school boy pop up a window on yahoo messenger and asked me out for a one-night-stand. I couldn’t stop laughing at his way of talking (he just asked me directly at the very beginning. He reminds me a sandwich Ad where people animate a baby to talk like an adult). Ehhh… what’s wrong with the high school kids now? Are they really that eager to prove that they’re mature and cool? Anyways, the ‘less than 5 sentences’ chat made me kindda uncomfortable.

$ $ $

Every beginning of a school year is like a big operation that my bank account would go through and bleed really hard. This year is not an exception. Actually, I should say, that this year it’s even facing a bigger operation.

I recently registered my arch studio and that add up to a total of 19 credits this term that I’m taking. I checked my UO account summary and the tuition fee went up more than fourteen hundred as soon as I clicked on the little button to add studio into my schedule. Whew~ the number on the UO bill is even larger than the number I planned to put on my bank account. But… I love all my classes. Three of them are required major studies and the other one is Japanese. I like to study languages. I don’t want to give it up. Well, that means I need to pay more for my curiosity. Kao!

I went to buy books today. It felt really good to go outside and have some sunshine. I guess I stayed in the house for too long. Can you imagine me skipping on the street, and singing like an elementary school kid? I can’t wait for the new term to start. I was too lazy and bored during the summer. But I’m sure I’ll complain about how busy and deadly tired I am in no more than 2 weeks. I’m still a little bit nervous to put my hands on foamcore and cutting knife again.

DWTX’s books are really hard to find, especially when I don’t know the course number of the classes he’s taking. Well… I just search for 600 classes…hee… There’s one optional book that was sold out. So I went to the info counter to see if I need to order it for him. The person who helped me is also named David. He suggested that since the book is optional, I better wait till DWTX comes back and order it by himself. He also added “Oh… you’re so nice, buying books for friend…must be a special friend hum?” Hhhee.. He made me blush I think…

I just found out that Nico Larco is going to be our ‘spatial composition’ teacher. Oh yeah! Now, all the 2nd year arch girls will be happy that they can take this Spanish magnet’s class. I know some of them would fight for an extra space in his studio. And I’m sure he’ll have lots of ‘after class questions’. Well, handsome and talented professors equal to popularities. But, James Givens is still the ‘real man’ for all of us. Everyone likes his class and gives him really high respect. Even some students from other majors come to take his intro to architecture class. And some guys even try to dress up like him during presentations. I wonder how he could be such a professor, that people admire him, crazy about his classes and a little bit scared of him. Maybe some ten years later, Nico will be the next Mr. Givens. But for now, that middle aged man with suits that doesn’t match, magnetic voice and eyes that can read your mind behind a pair of glasses with thick black frame is the one and only Givens in the school of Architecture. (I know it sounds silly, don’t laugh, thx~)

Power of Insomnia

Here I am, back in the quiet little town (Eugene) in Oregon again. Starting from the moment I got on the airplane in KLIA, it felt like I’ve been through a century. Many things happened and my mood kept swinging between 0-360 degrees (unbelievable extreme changes). And that is definitely due to lacking of sleep recently. 4 DAYS, I could hardly fall asleep because of bad airline connection and jetlag and pressure. After I arrived at PDX, I had to figure out how to get back to Eugene, get my phone connected again, and move to a new apartment… blah blah blah. Generally speaking, I had to get my life in this weird town back together again. That’s when I truly learned the power of insomnia.

11:15pm, Sept 17th, I took the plane to Singapore from Malaysia to make a transfer there. I had to wait till 3am to get my new boarding pass and the flight to Tokyo wouldn’t take off until 6am. So, I made my previous post in the airport there. The air conditioning made SIG freezing cold. The people who can fall asleep there must be some super-heroes.

Finally, I got on the plane to Tokyo and then Portland. The service NW airline provided was really nice. They constantly served us food and water. But that just kept me awake! The flying attendance with the sharp voice saying “duty free products” was really annoying. I imagined stretching out one leg to trip her so she could shut up. Yup, I know I’m evil. I met a friend from UO on the plane. He’s from Pinang Malaysia and is doing his PHD in vocal performance in our school. I knew him because my previous roomy who’s studying piano had a pretty hard crush on him. Ohh… that was long time ago. People change fast. Anyways, back to my story line. So we chatted when we were waiting for planes. I wasn’t too bored. And his let me stand in front of him at the immigration in PDX so I didn’t wait for too long to get through the custom. It was all good.

I was so excited when I got out of the Portland airport ‘cos I thought I could meet with Dave there since he was going to Japan on the same day. But then I found out that he wouldn’t be at the airport until noon and it was not even 9am yet when I contacted him. I couldn’t wait for that long and we wouldn’t have a lot of time to hang out at the airport. I was so disappointed sitting in the departure hall in the airport. After I tried to calm down, I dragged my luggage to the train to get to the greyhound station. I had to walk several blocks from china town to the bus station with my heavy luggage. I felt the place was so foreign while walking on the street. I kind of think people look at me strangely. I’m the “lao wai” this time. I was super sleepy on the bus but the kid sitting next to me was talking (more like yelling ‘cos she’s too young to talk) all the time. I tried really hard to control my temper and not to twist her head off.

3pm, Sunday, I arrived at Eugene… finally~. My roomy took me home and I crashed really hard that evening. The next day I got up around 7am. Later I found a freaky news when I saw trying to test my phone to see if it works- Dave was still in Hillsboro. He missed his flight! Well, it’s definitely terrible for him, but to be honest I was a little bit excited. That means I can see him earlier. But then I thought probably he’s gonna find a way to go to Japan eventually since he’s always determined. I was right. He found another flight the next day and took off. My mood dropped to freezing point again. I tried to tell myself that friends support each other and we are much more than friends. I should understand him and give him the best support if we really have the connection. I don’t know if that means much to him, but that’s all I can do for him. Dave said I’m a very traditional girl. I don’t know if that’s a compliment or something…

The next day I moved to my new apartment. My friends were really helpful, especially my old roomy. I truly appreciated them. However, maybe because I had jetlag, maybe I was in a new environment and it was so messy, I couldn’t fall asleep again for 2 nights. I sat in my room and started to cry. It was the first time to see the power of lacking of sleep. It made me so emotional, weak and unorganized. I felt my world was falling apart and I was so helpless and lonely. I wrote a really depressing email to Dave, but I was wishing he wouldn’t be able to read it at any time. I called my parents for help. They asked me to go out for a walk until I feel tired. It helped! I got a really good sleep in the afternoon and another one at night. The happy and optimist CiCi is back to me now. And I’m ready to make everything comfortable at home and wait for Dave to come back. Jia you, Yay!

On my way~

Hey, I'm in Singapore International Airport again! I'm here waiting for NW6 going back to Portland. The journey has been good so far. The sky-train in Singapore airport was working this time. I didn't have to walk a long way from one terminal to the another like I did last time. ^^V

So, here're two stories I have for now:

-I saw so many people from middle east in KLIA today. It made me wondering that if I were in Malaysia or in middle east.. hhee.. And there was a probably 10-year-old boy trying to talk to me in Arabic. I was like "eehhh..EEEHHHH?? Are you talking to me, little monster?" Then he smiled to me. He looked so happy~ Hheee.. it was funny~

-I knew I would forget something at home everytime when I have to leave. This time is not an exception. I forgot my camera's file transfer cable..T_T I need to ask my dad to mail it to me later...ehhh...

Alright.. I have to wait till 6am to get on the plain going to Tokyo. I'm getting more excited to go back and start a new, crazy, school life

To the person who left me the comment in my previous post, thank you very much and ya, let's have some coffee in Portland airport! And I'll give you a big hug and a kiss when we meet. How's that? =^.^=

无题

最后一个在吉隆坡的午夜，出奇的静，死一般的寂静。。。
我把头深深的埋在枕头里，任凭我使劲的大哭大闹都不会有人听到。我哭得越厉害，就把头埋得越深，有点要窒息的感觉。。。
冥冥中，我听到一个声音在和我聊天：

‘为什么哭？’
‘我也不大清楚。大概是为了所有不顺心的事。’
‘谁都有不顺心的时候，别这么娇气。’
‘可这些事也太不长眼睛了吧，都凑在一起来找茬！我怎么就不能哭？哦，非得要我装出一副坚强乐观的嘴脸来讨别人高兴？那我也太大无畏了吧。。。凭什么我不能发泄？我没妨碍过任何人！我也不是为任何人而活着的！’
‘可你看你今天跟你爸妈面前耍那么大脾气。明天要走了，你这不是让他们难受吗？’
‘我再跟你说一遍，我不为任何人活着！我也是个成年人了，我需要自己的空间，在我烦的时候，我不希望任何人来打搅我！我从不掩饰，为了使别人开心而强迫自己去做戏，我办不到！’
‘狂妄自大！’
‘你给我滚！滚！’

没有人能理解我，我现在真的感到无助而且异常的烦躁。我是不是快要疯了？我好像快要得自闭症了。我不甘心，我不能就这样一无所获的离开这里。可我又能做什么呢？把所有移民厅和卖手机的人都杀了吗？我不能走，我不能走，我还什么都干呢！我那些焦急不安的等待呢？那些绝望中的痛苦呢？那些受骗以后的无奈呢？谁来赔偿我？！谁？！　
都他妈的给我滚！
王八蛋！

What the HELL is going on?!

This is going to be the last night of my staying in Kuala Lumpur. Tomorrow I’ll be on my way going back to ‘my place’. Come, tomorrow! Come quicker. I can’t wait to leave all these shit.

I hate surprises ‘cos there’re always problems following them. People give others surprises only for instant happiness. They don’t think about the final result at all. What they are planning doesn’t even work sometimes. How can I call these people? “Sha Bi!” (it’s Chinese, means stupid pussy)

As I predicted, the new cell phone my parents got me can’t be used in the United States. I knew it would happen so I took the new phone out to check its frequency. Oh ya CC.. I was right. It’s a dual-band phone. There’s no 1900mhz frequency on this phone. Nice! Now I have to think about how to sell this shit to other people (of course for a lower price). I’ll lose several hundred ringet for nothing. Why do they always give me more troubles to deal with?! That’s what really pisses me off, not because of a damn new phone.

This summer holiday is SOOOOOO not like what I planed. I don’t have the mood to list all the ‘unexpected adventures’ I’ve had. I’m so MAD!!! I thought I could have a good rest during the break after a year of endless projects and sleepless studio life. But the summer has made me even more worn out. I’m tired! Somebody, please, give me some medicine to put me to sleep for ten or twenty years. After that I might wake up and figure out what the hell is going on with my life. But now, I’m just tired.

The dogs outside were barking the whole day today. And those Sha Bi living above us are still drilling their walls for some construction. When I was trying to change water for my fish this afternoon, that little monster jumped into the sink when I opened the cover of his little tank. I really wanted to throw him into the toilet and flush it. “You want freedom? I give you freedom!”

Ok, you can read my post, thinking I must be crazy or something. But DO NOT leave me any comment here. Just leave me alone. It’s good for all of us.

A prisoner's secrete

4pm, I had my first and probably the only meal for today. I was surprised that she would get up from her bed and cook. I wasn’t hungry, so I just ate half bowl of rice with a little bit vegetable. I had this weird feeling that she must have put poison in the food. I watched her taking the first bite and swallowed it. Nothing happened. So I started to eat. My thoughts scared me. I even thought about how to save my life if there really is poison in my food. Why would I think my own mother wants to kill me? Isn’t it a tragedy that a mother abused her child mentally for so long and so hard till the kid has the fear of dying in the mother’s hands?

I spent some time reading my old journals this afternoon. I have no pleasant memory staying at home this summer, not at all. My dad is busy all the time on the working site. He stays outside more than 12 hours everyday. My mom always gets crazy. When she’s like that, I just leave her alone and lock myself in my room. Probably the only good time is when I talk to my close someone on the phone. He likes to ask me to tell him stories. But honey I have no funny story for you. Have you noticed that our conversation is always about how nasty my family gets? And did you see that when I try to think of some other things to tell you, you always sounded lost because I don’t even know how to make those stupid things sounds more interesting. Honey, please don’t say that I should go out when my mother gets crazy again. You don’t understand, if I step out the house once, probably I would never be able to come in again. I remember I had a really terrible fight with her when I was only 14. She let me stand outside the door for almost the whole night. It was a cold winter and I was only wearing my pajamas…

Mentally I live my life like a prisoner. I put myself behind the bars. Only I can free myself but I’m afraid to do so. I was well protected when I was little and I had a strong bound with my family (at least I thought so). I thought no mater what happened I could always find support from my family. I need that mental/spiritual protection. But now I’m confused. I’m not sure if my family can provide me the spiritual support anymore. I don’t know if I should stay away to have a real life of my own. I read an article saying that our fear and guilt keeps us away from letting go the problem and start over again. But I don’t know what I fear of or feel guilty about.

A prisoner finished his time stay in the jail and he was set to be free. But he begged the police to let him stay in the prison. The police asked him why he wants to stay instead of having his freedom and he answered, “I have food to eat here. I can work in the boot camp to earn some money. But once you kick me out, I have no way to live. Instead of freedom, I choose to be alive.”

This is a story my friend told me long time ago. I just simply like it, even though it has nothing to do with my situation.

assignment completed

Yay! My new cartoon is done. This one is for my honey..hheee... He likes to talk to me on phone and listen to music at the same time. What do you think ah, DWTX?

I'm going to the US embassy to have an interview for my student visa. I'm a little bit nervous now. Wish me good luck!

Weird Days

Too many weird things happened these days. But they’re all funny kind of weird, making my days happier and more interesting.

Now, let me list them in chronological order ^^

• Friday’s piano practice was extremely terrible. Both Gregory (my dad’s friend, he believes he’s a fine pianist) and I kept playing wrong notes. We ended up with playing the Chinese song in jazz style but couldn’t continue because everyone there in the music shop laughed so hard. But at least I had fun doing improvisation. If my piano teach was still alive and was there listening to us, she would definitely cut me into pieces. Hhee…It was, after all, just for fun~

• After the practice, my dad had to rush to the construction site to have an important meeting. So I went with him. I had a big fight with the mosquiDos there. I killed 3 of them, but got more than 5 bites. Too bad that I wasn’t wearing long pants. Those little vampires stick to my legs like tapes! So, here’s the final scene: CiCi ran in the front with a troop of mosquiDos chasing behind her >.<

• My family decided to have Korean BBQ last night. Before dinner time, we went to Carfore to buy some food. I have to mention that our car’s battery has been working weakly these days. It’s finally, completely dead yesterday after we finished shopping. Even connecting it to other cars' battery wouldn’t help to start our car. What can we do? What can we do! Ha~ my dad is awesome! He went to buy a new battery in the supermarket, put the acid into the battery to charge it and switched it with the old one. Sounds dangerous? Sounds cool? Dad used to be a mechanical engineer. He used to study engines for tanks. He always has ways to repair stuff. And I was very helpful too. I guess it’s in my blood to try to put my hands on everything and figure out how they work. Maybe I should be a boy~ ^.^V

• I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed my close someone went to Beijing with me to visit my grandparents and the rest of the family. When we got to their apartment, I saw thousands of crabs’ shell and fish’s guts walking on the ground. They kept biting my feet. But it seemed I was the only one who can see them. Other people in my dream just acted normally. So weird! I think I should search in the ‘dream interpreter’ to find out what it means. Hhee..

• Gregory told me today that because his fingers are getting too fat, he broke one of his ring 2 days ago. But… but… the ring is made of metal… It’s just hard to believe what he said…

• People on the street are crazy today in KL, no matter if they’re driving cars, riding motorcycles or walking. I saw an old guy riding a bicycle on highway and he went the opposite direction as the traffic! I saw two cars ‘racing’ on the street and they almost hit a kid trying to cross the street. What’s wrong with these people~

Ok. I’m too sleepy. Need to Zzzz…
To my hunnie: I’m sorry I can’t make the drawing today ‘cos I’m too tired. I’ll do it tomorrow~ wan an~ wen ni!

Pinang and Bubur Chacha

The sun in KL was burning crazily today and the heat dried up my patient really fast. If I say ‘I feel itchy in my hands’ in Chinese, that means I want to beat someone or break something. By noontime, not only my hands felt itchy, my whole body just wanted to turn into a nuclear bomb and went off right there in my apartment and flatten the entire city of KL…

Well, I’m saying this because I’ve been having a bad mood these days due to some trouble with the immigration office. The bad mood has been disturbing my family for as long as half a year. I don’t want to complain anymore since it won’t make those immigration officers with no brain any batter. What I’m thinking now is that I have to get one of those passports with blue cover someday, so that I don’t need a damn visa for going to other countries, that I won’t be asked for security check at the boarding gate by some F airline people.

Alright, Alright, too much depressing stuff. So… I need a bowl of bubur chacha (a coconut ice-cream desert) to cool myself, and tell you some stories about my trip to Pinang.

We drove to up to the north of west Malaysia on Friday morning and stopped at Ipoh for lunch. The food was nice and super cheap in Ipoh. Then we headed to Pinang. The car’s air-conditioner broke in the afternoon, so we had a really nice ‘sauna’ on the road. When we got to the island, we saw bunch of cows on the side of the road, eating the grass from the edge of some residential houses’ front yard. One of them was even trying to cross the street in front of our car. S/he stopped in the middle of the road and looked at me for sever seconds and went across the road! How weird! Whoo… finally we arrived at Holiday Inn about 4pm. As soon as we checked in the hotel, I put my swimming suit on and jumped into the pool. You might wonder why I don’t swimming in the sea since the hotel is just by the beach. Umm… the sea in Pinang isn’t for swimming. I mean, it’s a bit polluted because people play jet ski and other water activities too much on the beach. Anyways, I had a nice swim and enjoyed the sunshine.

The next day I played jet ski and ride a horse. It was fun. Dad bought me a glass of cocktail while we were there enjoying the breeze by the pool. Hheeee… that was the first time Dad bought me a drink. I’m really happy to be 21, yeah~

We ate so much seafood during the trip. We made our new record- 2kg of shrimp and 2 kg of crab for a meal, nothing else, only shrimp and crab. HA! That was awesome!

My dad snores even harder then last year, like a thunder machine! We only booked one room at holiday inn, so my mom and I had to try to go to sleep with that thunder machine. My dad fall asleep super fast. I really want to plug my sandal into his throat to choke that thunder machine.

Ok, that’s my story for the trip to Pinang. I really miss the bubur chacha there. It’s the best one in Malaysia I think.

mosquiDo

One quick stories:

Before I got ready for sleep, I saw a mosquito in my room. So I killed it. But as soon as I picked him up from the floor I noticed he's actually a mosquiDo. I gave him CPR and rescue breathing and he finally woke up. "I.. I was just trying to drink some CiCi blood and suddenly I heard a "SMACK'.. she was trying to kill me...eeehh.." MosquiDo cried. So I put him into my super spaceship and launched him back to his office in Hillsboro. He fainted again on the way because the speed was too fast for a little mosquiDo. But me managed to wake up before 7am there and had his meeting before meeting before meeting.

-the end-

黑键，白键

又到了写中文的时候了。每到这时我都特别开心，因为我可以借着这个机会一个人缩在黑暗的角落里，对着屏幕敲打一些大概只有我才会去看的字符。其实我并不在意没有人看或者没有人看得懂我blog。相反的，好像这样我觉得更安全了，就像把秘密都告诉一个最要好朋友，而他恰好又是一个哑巴那样。总之，没有人喜欢在别人面前脱光衣服的感觉。。。

好了，言归正传。今天的题目是“黑键，白键”

我一直都在疑问，为什么钢琴上只有黑键或白键，却没有一个什么“灰键”之类的夹在当中。每次练钢琴的时候，手指只能在黑键和白键当中穿梭，而不能像弦乐器那样做出滑音或颤音的效果。虽然说钢琴是所谓的乐器之王，因为它的音域最宽而且表现力最丰富。但是我觉得钢琴也是束缚力最强的一种乐器，黑白两色已经明确的向世人说明了要想成为出色的演奏者，就必须坚信只有那８８个音符的存在，而没有黑白以外的什么灰色音符。

我天生好奇，所以一直都在想生活当中会不会有灰色的琴键呢？如果不是按照祖祖辈辈的方式生活的话，我的未来会是什么样子的呢？于是，在家人的支持和帮助下，我开始了寻找我的灰色音符的历程。虽然过程中遇到了很多很多的麻烦，比如说当初费了九牛二虎之力才考进建筑系，再比如说去其他国家的签证一直是个很另人恼火的问题，还有到现在也没有找到合适的公寓住，说不定以后还要搬家或者有别的什么矛盾，但这些对于我的梦想都不是什么问题。回头看看，我现在不是已经在美国读书了吗？我不是已经学会做饭了吗？我还有一个拥有一对漂亮蓝眼睛的男朋友。我在读我最喜欢的创作专业。这些我都拥有了啊～以后我还要作一名出色的建筑师，拥有自己的洋房和车子，和那个有漂亮蓝眼睛的大男孩去维也纳度蜜月（想到这里都有点脸红了呢～哈哈。。）这些我都会有的！只要我相信世上真的有灰色音符的存在，我一定会拥有我全部的期待！

好了，就胡言乱语到这里吧。为了发现灰色的音符，加油！