Silly PS photoes

So, I haven't post any thing for while. School was flipping me up-side-down everyday. I sort of lost the track of time. Just find something to eat or go to sleep whenever I feel I have to do so. But at least I'm still alive. That's enough for me to feel very lucky.

This weekend has been really boring. I'm staying at home alone while everyone else is having fun somewhere with friends. Sometimes you just feel nothing working. I wanted to do laundry but I ran out of quarters. So I decided to make my room as messy as I can. I was quite successful on that.. On Friday I was trying to get some rum or vodka to make a drink for myself. Well, you gotta treat yourself good when no one else cares a s*** about you. I wasn't trying to get drunk, but just a little buzzed to stop my brain from thinking too much. Then I realized that it's so pathetic that I can't drive. Within walking distance, there's not a single FRINKIN' liquor store around. On the way back home, I tripped on a big crack on the concrete pavement. Luckily I had my bread to protect me...poor bread.

So, I tried everything to entertain myself. I watched at least 10 episode of Seinfeld, 5 episode of WuLinWaiZhuan (a Chinese drama), countless videos on Youtube, read all the posts I can find on Chinaren and finally I did this Photoshop picture to kill time. If I were in Beijing, at least I could go out since the public transportation is really convenient there. Ya...every time when I came back from home, I started to miss it so much. You know why? Becuase my vacation was always wasted on some WWIII of my family. Summer holiday has always been the time that most is likely to drive me crazy. So, next time I'm just going to "sneak" back home. I don't ever want to see or talk to those b***ches again. If I were allowed to kill people, I've already been sent to orphanage 6 years ago. I don't believe in people's promise anymore. They just use them to fool you, get it?

Anyways, here're the pics.

Good good study, day day up!

The weather is getting cold and trees are changing colors. My vision feels like it has been added a reddish golden color filter in Photoshop. I just realized I’ve been back to US for a month. One of my friends used to say that after passing the age of 21, time just flies. Maybe it’s true. I have so many things to do, but never have the time to do them.

School has started 2 weeks ago. I’ve already had my first “all night long” working experience. I admit that I sort of waited till the last minute to do this structure project. But, at least I finished it with the best model I can make. Maybe this will be the toughest year of the program. Whatever it is, I’ll have to learn to deal with it somehow. Every time I’m stressed out about my school, I tell myself that I either choose to quit, or keep going. Of course I always choose to keep working till I pass out. I’ve gone so far. If I quit, I’ll have nothing. But if I at least try to keep going, I’ll get some clue of the next step. Right? I mean…right?

I was really sick last week. I had cold for a week, and was coughing my lung out. With tons of homework lying in front of me that time, I thought I was going to die. I was so homesick. I remember some day during the week; I was hiding under my blanket and didn’t have any energy to move. I heard my roommate was chopping something in the kitchen and cooking. The sound reminded me that my mom always makes me the best food when I was sick. I like to lie on the bed and listen to her chopping vegetables in the kitchen. I would fall asleep like that and she would wake me up after my food is ready. Back to real life, my dinner for that night was actually cereal. The cold milk made my stomach want to spit everything out. I cried. It was the first time I felt living by myself could be very difficult. And after a very long time I start to feel I really miss my parents again.

I’m still getting use to seeing my someone only once a week. It’s really hard for me since we shared an apartment last year. We used to see each other everyday. Even though I was very busy, at least I knew he’s somewhere near me. I could always go to his room and ask for a hug or something when I needed some cheering-up. I always felt safe. Right now, I have to train myself to think that no matter what I’m going through, I’m on my own. No one will stay up with me when I have big projects or wrap the blanket around me when I’m sick. I need to be more independent. My someone is very busy with his job and he needs to have some time alone to relax. I understand all the logic, but it’s really hard… I really miss him… 2 years could pass by as I blink my eyes. But for now, it seems so long, so far away…

Ok, that’s enough rambling for now. Time to go to bed. Wan an. I will survive.