"B+" is enough

Ehh… it’s mid-night again. I know I really shouldn’t stay up so late, but I just love the nighttime so much (as I’m writing this, my close someone comes in to tell me to go to bed). I can’t stop my mind from spinning and coming up with all kinds of crazy thoughts. Well, they’re not freaky kind of crazy idea, it’s just I don’t normally think like that during the daytime, when I consciously behave myself as a character I designed for the “me-in-public”.

So, here’s the weirdness for tonight:

It’s just an imagination, if our lives are like the exams we take in school, and then someone’s going to give grades to us. I don’t care about who’s giving the grade. I’m just wondering what score do you want to have?
“Oh, definitely an ‘A’, maybe an ‘A+’ if I’m lucky, but ‘A-’ is the minimum for sure”, the “me-in-public” says confidently.
“Well, maybe a “B+” is enough. I don’t HAVE TO be out-standing right? I think I can have a pretty happy life with a “B+”. Hahaa…” (Excuse me, that’s the “night-spirit-me”)

I guess everyone has hard times in his or her live ‘cos no one’s perfect. So, why would I let my down time bother me so much? I shouldn’t try to think about them over and over again and eventually, they’ll be forgotten one day.

Whose parents don’t fight? I know many people around me whose parents have divorced. For those who haven’t sign the paper, maybe fighting means they love each other. But anyways, I’m not part of my parents’ battle. I walk away if they turn into monsters. The formula is just that simple- they’re peaceful, I stay, they’re violent, I leave. They’ll never hurt me if I don’t care. And when I go to visit them, we’re still happy to be together as always, or at least pretend we are.

For school, I really shouldn’t complain about how much homework I get to do. I mean, I chose to be an architect. So this is the workload I should have. I’m not the only one that’s suffering. The entire school of architecture is on the same schedule. Who goes to parties on weekends… maybe we have it once or twice a year after the final presentations? And, isn’t the light in studios always on at night? People are all working hard, I’m not alone. At least half of us got into the department during our 2nd year. That means, many people are trying to finish the 5 year program in 4 years. So taking 19 or 20 credits per term is really not that special. My friends are all doing it. Don’t panic if I can’t finish those boring readings or get a bad grade on one project. It happens to everyone. Just try to do better next time.

I have a really sweet special someone. I’ve never seen any guy as gentle and thoughtful as him. Don’t be too greedy. When I think he didn’t consider me enough, I should think about if I have done enough for him in the first place. I’m a girl doesn’t mean he should bear me all the time. If I’ve done something wrong, I need to say sorry. I have a bad example in my head to remind me that I don’t want to be like her. Being understanding and honest never make you a looser.

Ok, it’s too late. I need to shut up now. Good night.